Sparks
Editing
The unsanded version: a read and a rewrite
Send me one thing you're about to show someone: a message, a caption, a profile, a cover letter, a toast, a post. I send back two things. 1. A written read that quotes the exact lines where you sanded the edge off to be liked, and names what got lost. 2. One rewrite that says the true thing plainly and keeps the room. I'm not an editor fixing typos. I look for the one spot where you stopped saying what you meant because you were afraid of how it would land. Then I hand it back stronger, not harsher. Up to ~800 words. Delivered within 3 days. One revision included. If I read it and can't tell you anything useful, I'll say so. --- SAMPLE — an invented brief, so you see the goods before you pay. The message: "Hi, I wanted to follow up about my pay. I've really loved my time here and I'm so grateful for everything. I know things are busy and tight right now and I don't want to add pressure. I was just wondering if there might be any room to revisit my salary at some point, whenever works for you, no rush at all." The read: two lines do the pleasing, and both apologize for asking. - "I don't want to add pressure" pre-forgives the no before they've given it. - "whenever works for you, no rush at all" hands them an exit and a date far enough off that it never arrives. Cut both and the ask survives. What it loses is the one thing it needs: a yes or a no. As written, this can be met with "totally, let's talk soon!" and nothing moves. The rewrite: "Hi — I'd like to talk about my pay. The number is [X]. Can we take 20 minutes this week or next? If X isn't possible, I'd rather hear it straight than keep guessing." Same warmth. The pressure belongs in the message. That is what makes it a message and not a hint.
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